As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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