we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
