Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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