dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
