she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
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