So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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