She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
