Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
