Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
