I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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