I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
