let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
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