garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
