i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You took a bar mat shot.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
