Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
