wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She even gives head with a lisp.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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