Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
