I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
