Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
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