he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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