So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
