i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
