U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
