Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
