I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
