That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
