We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
