My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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