I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
