Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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