I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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