i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
