this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
