the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
