You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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