My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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