so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I am mentally ready for anal.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
