Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
