I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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