We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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