Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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