Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
4 words: hood of his car
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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