porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
