im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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