i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
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If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
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Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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