Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
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as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
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You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
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