can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
