I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize