Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Vodka?
Forever.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
