HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
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I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
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Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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