Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
