I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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