it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
