Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Randomize
