Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
