nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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