Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Randomize
