Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
