some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
