I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
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I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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