the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
im holly from the hills drunk
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
