are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
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In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
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