ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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