he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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