But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
