Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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